Playboy Principal
by murky lane
Summary: [AU] The Ouroboros Dragon was born to keep balance to the world. But what if he didn't care, and would rather be a playboy? Being married to Lucifer's ex-wife Lilith, the Ouroboros Dragon becomes the Principal of Kuoh Academy and teaches the male students on how to live a life of leisure and women. [Non-Canon, M for obvious reasons]


**Life 1-2**

* * *

When life was formed, the first being to exist was a Dragon, a Black Dragon. A Dragon so powerful that even the Biblical God, the creator of the christian mythology was terrified of it's existence.

But this life form that took the form of a black/purple western Dragon, eating his own tail to help symbolize his infinite strength and divinity, was not produced nor created by the Creator of Life. Instead, he was born out of thin space inside the dimensional gap, within the 'nothingness' in reasons unknown to anybody, including the Ouroboros Dragon himself.

...

...

...

But who cares, right? Besides, the Dragon itself abandoned the thought and decided to fuck around anyways. It didn't matter where he came from, as long as he was breathing and had the most out of his gifted infinite life and a charming face, he couldn't give a lesser damn on who his creator is, or what his purpose is after his birth inside the dimensional gap.

Instead, he just wanted to live in the human world and have a diverting experience, where nobody knew who he truly was.

But who _actually_ cares about all that. The only information somebody had to know about the Ouroboros Dragon was simple: _Most powerful being in the universe, a rather uncaring asshole, and had an affair with the Devil._ That's really all you need to know about this character.

And currently, this powerful being who should be acting like a proper God of all theology, was having a drink on a cruise ship with a different God, that he was very familiar with.

"Let me tell you, Ouroboros. The life you are living right now, is the life I someday wish to live for the next millenia." spoke the white bearded old man, being none other than Odin of Asgard. The All-father of all the Nordic Gods.

"Hahaha! Then why not just ditch your job? If I trenched my purpose for keeping the entire mythology balanced, then I'm sure you'll be able to leave a small world." said the brown haired playboy who was enjoying his delicious glass of martini.

Equipped with an expensive sunglasses and a aloha shirt, the Ouroboros Dragon was enjoying his life to the fullest. Not only that, he also had very good connections with Gods that were jealous of his lifestyle, such as the Odin of Asgard.

"It's not as easy, and I learned that from my last attempt,"

"Oh, you mean that time you tried..."

It was silent, until the two Gods began laughing hysterically as they remembered the event that happened 30 years ago, when Odin tried abandoning his job in order to live a leisure life the Ouroboros Dragon had. But unfortunately for Odin, it was unsuccessful due to a certain existence.

"Hahahaha! The face he had when he saw me with his ex-wife! Wasn't that just hilarious?!" laughed the Ouroboros Dragon, barely able to hold in his laughter.

And the two had a conversation about their past, and the times they had together. It wasn't hard to say that they were best buddies, who could rely on each other if something bad was happening to them. Besides, Issei Hyoudou was a God, the most powerful God. And Odin owned an entire faction.

But that didn't seem to bother Odin, and he was the first to not care. Infact, the first time Odin met issei, he was more intrigued on the fact that Issei was living a life he always wanted to have, despite being born as somebody that was suppose to be wise.

"What kind of conversation are you having, Issei dear?"

Suddenly, a voice filled the air as the two Gods looked behind them, revealing a beautiful women with long black hair with little bits of red mixed in. Looking closely, the lady had dark yellow orbs for an eye, with a slight curved pupil looking like a real Devil. She was as tall as the Ouroboros Dragon, around 5'11 ft. Her busts were also uncomparable to anybody who claims to have big breasts, as her black bikini said otherwise. This lady was Issei's wife, and an important existence from ages ago.

But now, she was nothing more than a pure-blooded Devil that lives alongside the Ouroboros Dragon as his wife, as she abandoned her past title and position. Nobody who where she was, other than Odin and the Ouroboros Dragon, and of course her ex-husband mentioned before.

"Oh my, you've gotten more beautiful than the last time we've met. You truly is the God of Luck, Issei." Odin said as he smirked, while blushing slightly at the sight of Issei's wife.

"Why thank you, Odin-sama. You've also gotten very muscular since the last time we've met, preparing for another war?" asked the black haired devil, while taking a sip of Issei's wine. She then proceeded to lay next to her husband, who was enjoying the view of the ocean while his wife's busts were squashed onto him.

"No way! I've been preparing to go on a major break for a change, and your husband here said he'll help me on relieving my stress," said Odin, who was smiling at the thought of it. Not only was the Ouroboros Dragon the most leisurely type Dragon, he also knew how to have the most fun in a God-like level. And that's what Odin was excited for.

Then Issei got up from his bench, as he walked towards the sun, which was where the cruise ship was heading towards. "And that time starts now, Odin! I get a lot of income and drinks in the human world, but do you know what else I get a lot of?" asked the Ouroboros Dragon, as he slowly looked behind him, looking at Odin straight in the eyes while the unnamed lady who was Issei's wife got excited.

The mischevious smile was taped on Odin's face, as he placed the glass of wine next to him.

"PUUUUUSSSSY!" excitedly yelled the Ouroboros Dragon, as a dozen of human girls came out of the main lobby, wearing the best bikinies the Odin has ever seen. He might be old, but he knew what beauty truly was.

The music started playing, a variety of it. It was time for Odin to blow some steam, and act like a proper God.

The definition of a Ouroboros Dragon, was what all Gods should act like.

* * *

 **ORC, Kuoh Academy**

The documents placed on Rias Gremory's desk by Akeno Himejima was enormous. It had almost 2 inches of thin paper, with every single detail belonging to a rich figure from USA, who was currently building a house on the rich part of Kuoh.

The crimson princess, who had long crimson hair that riched all the way to her thighs was tiredly signing all the papers, while cursing the man who had made her do all this work.

 _"This Issei Hyoudou guy... just had to force this on me, what a prick..."_ Rias murmured, while signing the last paper. Majority of the stuff on the papers were unneccesary, as it took Rias almost 2 hours to finish. And the last thing Rias Gremory wanted to do was see Issei Hyoudou face to face, since he seemed like a major douche.

And Rias Gremory only needed a few things to claim that this 'Issei Hyoudou' was a bastard. He had been constantly sending the owner of the town unneccesary papers that they had to sign, which could've been all put into one paper. But instead, he sent them one by one, detail by detail.

Not only that, but Kuoh Academy was recently changed due to the request of Issei Hyoudou. This request was made almost 5 monthes ago, and it had to be done by the orders of Sirzechs Lucifer, who was Rias Gremory's big brother.

 _"Sorry, Rias. But that person is kind of a big deal, it's best if we accept his requests."_ was all he said before he left Rias to deal with it, acting as if he didn't want to. It was clear to Rias that her brother knew this person, and had something against Issei Hyoudou.

With that, Kuoh Academy turned into a school filled with girls, with few boys who came in trying to get a girlfriend and maybe score in some good times. Though there were those who got in trouble doing wicked acts, such as peaking, they were protected by Issei Hyoudou to not be expelled no matter what. And to the boys of the school, Issei Hyoudou was a hero.

But ironically, they didn't know who he actually was. The two major fan boys of Issei Hyoudou was Matsuda and Motohama the two most perverted male students in Kuoh Academy. They were at the edge of being expelled by the principal by one point, but a lawyer sent by Issei Hyoudou saved them.

And from that day on, Issei Hyoudou was an anonymous hero to all boys who attended Kuoh Academy.

As Rias Gremory reached the end of the papers, the last paper consisted of the Hyoudou logo, which was the company Issei Hyoudou owned. It had his cartoonish face printed on it, with the bottom labeling "Luxe" under it.

"Seems that his business consists of playboy magazines, late-night clubs, strip clubs, hidden succubus organizations, and.. oh, the list goes on for the next 13 lines, ara ara." giggled Akeno, while reading the documents that was being held by her hands. Majority of the businesses Issei Hyoudou conducted consisted of sexual acts or drinks, and sometimes even mythology works. To Rias Gremory, this man was someone she didn't want to deal with for the rest of her time, but had no choice to in order of her own brother.

"I don't like him already." blankly said Koneko, the rook of Rias Gremory.

"Who knows? He might not be so bad. He helped me get into the school too," said Kiba, the knight of Rias Gremory. His master could only facepalm herself as she crumbled the logo with her other hand.

* * *

Coast of Japan

Five hours has passed since the arrival of Issei and Odin, the pair of Gods who were considered best buddies. The Ouroboros Dragon's wife also followed, as the trio entered the casino with their pockets filled with cash.

Or in a descriptive way, sixteen men with tuxedos walked behind the them, holding a bag of cash.

"Allow me to show you... the pleasurable feeling of gambling." said the Ouroboros Dragon as he waved his hand left to right slowly, showing Odin the colossal casino with many rich figures. It also served the highest quality of drinks, including sake and soju. They were Issei's favorites.

"Issei, if you're telling me this is just the beginning of my vacation, I can't imagine what it's going to be like for the next few weeks." muttered Odin, as he gave off a twitching grin. The Ouroboros Dragon smacked Odin's back twice, "Great taste comes with great pussy."

And from that day on, the two went on a journey all the way to Korea, Singapore, China, and so on. The culture of the vacation was Asian, so the two Gods went everywhere around Asia as they tried foods, drinks, and even women. They had a blast together, with their final destination being Japan, from where they started.

The God of Asgard then left to his work, with the vacation officially over. As bummed as Odin was, he had no choice but to work more as a God. He promised Issei that he would give up his title to somebody someday, just so he can live the life Issei had. The two eventually made an agreement, to a certain issue.

The construction on Kuoh Town was complete, as Issei and his wife started moving their business towards the town. It was middle of April.

The notice of Issei Hyoudou's arrival was reported to Rias Gremory and Sona Sitri, the two devils who owned the territory. They opened up the barrier for the business man to arrive, thinking he was a human who had a personality of a bastard.

But even with all the clues, the two devils didn't suspect the man by a slightest of being a higher being, who could destroy the world if he wanted to.

"We're here, how do you like it?" asked the Ouroboros Dragon to his wife. "It's beautiful! Just as always, you don't disappoint."

The mansion was massive, almost covering the entire space of Kuoh town's village area. Moving in their stuff immediately, Issei went to work on construction sites for his new night club, with his wife setting up the workers for the club.

And within just a month, the construction for the new night club building was half finished, and the only thing remaining now was time. "With that out of the way, how about we dance with the other devils for a bit?" said the Ouroboros Dragon, on top of his wife while running his fingers through her black hair.

"I'd love to. I haven't met Sirzechs's little sister, it should be fun." she replied, giving her husband a deep, long kiss. It eventually led to Issei and his wife having a sex for the entire night, not a care in the world as the two God-like beings did what they wanted.

* * *

Few days afterwards the last event, the principal of Kuoh Academy retired, after reaching the excusable age. The leadership of the school went to a different man who was much younger, and had an influence to the school in the past. Though the principal's speech didn't reveal who the man was, most of the students already had clues on who it was going to be.

"It has to be Mr. Saikawa. He donated to the school the most!"

"No way, Mrs. Shisoki had the most influence! She has been here since the school's creation!"

"But the principal said it's going to a much younger man than him, it can't be a girl."

Multiple rumors spread fast as a wildfire, as who the new principal was going to be. But for the supernatural side of the school, they already knew who the new principal was going to be.

Both Rias and Sona looked at the papers with disbelief as their eyes couldn't blink at the sight of it. It was too shocking to be true, to the point where they thought of moving schools and territory just so they wouldn't be involved.

The paper reads.

 _"Issei Hyoudou shall be the new principal of Kuoh Academy."_

The God and Leader of all the males in the school, and the archenemy of females in the school. This included the two high-class devils, who both happened to be females.

They could already tell what kind of a person this Issei Hyoudou was, just by reading his profile. A playboy, multiple night club owner, and the secret CEO of the underground succubus community that works like what a devil pact would, but in a sexual way.

Despite his high profile in the governments, he somehow bypassed the strict requirements of a school principal. Being a playboy shouldn't have allowed him to become a school principal, and he didn't even have a day of experience in it. His education history proved his graduation was through GED, and the college he atteneded was nonexistent. And the money he made was possibly through shady businesses that the FBI couldn't figure out, so he was a man of secrets in a way.

But despite all that, he still got in the school's business network and his incredible tactics worked, much to Rias Gremory's surprise. And the fact that her older brother who was a respected Satan of the Underworld, feared the business man was simply too incredible.

It was now Thursday, the day of the new principal's speech. The last Principal was found wearing a aloha shirt with a large black suitcase, alongside his old wife getting inside of a limo. They seemed a bit too happy for their absence, as the man yelled "Goodbye, Kuoh!" and left with the chauffeur who was driving the limousine.

Everyone at the Kuoh Academy gathered for the speech, including Rias Gremory and Sona Sitri with their peerage. They were all hiding in the large crowd of students, who was awaiting for the new Principal to make his showdown.

"The Principal will now make his appearance." said the voice in the speakers. A few seconds afterwards, a man with brown haired approached the stage from the left side, wearing a black loose tuxedo with a black waistcoat. Everything he wore was black, including the watch he was wearing on his left arm.

The boy wasn't the most handsome person in the world, but his first appearance attracted the females by a little. His attire and facial expression matched very well, with a smug-kind of a face he was wearing. And he knew damn well that he was going to say something amazing that would capture the hearts of everyone in the stadium.

Or at least, all the males. He began to speak once he reached the microphone.

"Goodmorning, students of Kuoh Academy. It's a pleasure to be at your presence as your new Principal for the next few years, specially all the beautiful girls."

It was cheesy, but it still made some girls blush from the statement. He continued

"My name is Issei Hyoudou, and I'm sure many of you already know who I am."

[-?!]

Everyone, including the teachers were immensely outraged at that statement. The males cheered after a short second of his announcement, as they raised their fists in cheer. Though the female population overthrew the male population, their loud inspiring cheers filled the stadium, with the female students disgusted by it.

The teachers did their jobs and calmed them down, but it was too much. There were even some who were crying, such as Motohama and Matsuda of the perverted duo.

"Issei-dono! You've come to save us!"

"Lord and Savior, MY Lord and Savior! Bestow us with your blessings, teach us your ways!"

Hearing those words, the playboy Ouroboros Dragon gave a wide grin as he continued. "All girls, hear me! You are not objects, and no man here see you as one! You have a soul just like the rest of us, and you are a human being! However, listen to what I have to say!" he roared, gaining the attention of everyone in the stadium.

The girls looked at him with half opened eyes, both unsure and too disgusted to act. Besides, this was the man that protected all the boys who were going to be expelled for peaking at girls, how could they not be disgusted? But his charming looks were hard to judge on.

"Men has feelings too! For countless years of living life, I have come to the philosophy of love! It is not all about looks, it's all about the personality! Men who forcefully conduct sexual misdeeds, they shall be immediately expelled! But those who simply want to experience the youthful life, you are free to do innocent, man-like activities!"

His statement was quite unclear to the females, wondering if the males should be doing mischievous acts or not. However, with all the confusion along the chains of females, somehow the male group of the school bobbed their head repeatedly, as if they understood everything their God and Savior just said.

Matsuda and Motohama led a group of males who appeared on the front of the stadium, bowing down to their new religious figure. Some kneed and placed their right hand on their left chest, and some grovelled.

All the females started to back off from the stage, while the males were making a death ball of helpless horny teenagers who wanted to experience 'youth'. Even the student council secretary, Saji was part of the mass.

"That man's going to get the exiled.." Sona whispered. The only boy who wasn't part of the death ball was Kiba, who was smiling at the sight but did not participate.

At the end of the long speech Issei Hyoudou made, he declared himself the Principal of the Kuoh Academy as all males saluted his braveness. Part of the speech he made was to sacrifice himself for the rest of them, for a certain something most of the females didn't understand.

Due to the rules, everyone who was part of the school was forced to stay and watch the speech, as the females were dying for teachers to open the door. But the last speech Issei made made everyone in the stadium direct their attention to him, as a female walked from the same direction the Ouroboros Dragon walked from.

Her appearance made a few males nose bleed in excitement, seeing a hot chick walk down the stage with a rack bigger than Rias Gremory, who respectively had the most beautiful figure at school. But her size and curves made the male students forget about the two great beauties of Kuoh, and rather planned a fan club just for her.

"This is my wife, Lilith Hyoudou! Would you not say she is the greatest beauty you've ever seen? If you follow my steps until the end of days, I shall lead you to a great life filled with women!"

That was the ending statement as the confetti's started blowing up from all sides of the stage, the male students praising their new leader. Some took pictures with their phone, mostly Lilith Hyoudou, the wife of Issei Hyoudou.

Issei expected the students to take a great deal of pictures, and asked Lilith to wear the hottest attiring for the introduction day. And that attire can be your imagination to whatever you like.

The only ones who were truly struck by her appearance was Rias Gremory and Sona Sitri, and their queens. They knew who exactly this person was, since they learned about her in the history book of the Underworld, under the section of "Creation".

She was the wife of the True Lucifer, and the mother of all devils. And since she is the creator of all succubus, the attire she wore didn't actually exist.

She used her powers to manipulate the minds of everyone that was staring at her, in order to get their desires. Everyone had their own interests and likes, and if a person wanted to see her in bikini they would see her in a bikini. If someone wanted to see her in a dress, they would see her in a dress. This did not work on electronics however, but it didn't matter for the Ouroboros Dragon and the ex-wife of Lucifer.

As the new Principal's speech ended, the teachers were allowed to open the doors for everyone to leave, which most of the people took advantage for. With rest of the female population out of the stadium, every male population (not including Kiba) kept the saluting posture at Issei as he made his way off the stage, alongside his stunning wife.

An hour passed after the declaration of Issei Hyoudou's ownership of Kuoh Academy, as his main office was being setup by his company to his style. And when it was finished, Issei and his wife, Lilith was going to celebrate their new home, before somebody came busting through the door.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed. If you have any suggestions let me know. I'll try and make the next chapter longer, since this is only the start.**


End file.
